30.12.08

Day 112. The Lost One.

And so this is Christmas...and what have you done? With apologies to John Lennon, one thing I really like about this little annual trip I am on is that it gives me a break for my spirit. I get to actually reflect and figure out what the heck is going on in all things Alison. Over the past week or so, a tiny bit of ugliness has seeped into my life. A person severed a relationship and it caught me off guard, and wounded me rather deeply. Its been dealt with, and quite frankly, now it is over but I figured I'd be an idiot if I didn't reflect and really think about what I learned.

This person made a hurtful decision first, and explained later...and only at what I believe to be the prompting of one or two people. While I appreciate that an explanation came it came too late. I thought about why this was and what it boiled down to for me was that in a world where we hug people upon meeting them the first time, we use "love" for everything, and we call someone a friend with no basis I am starting to think we might be too casual with our relationships. Now don't get me wrong, if we remove the opportunity to meet new people we can never develop those lovely, deep strong relationships that are so meaningful, however, I am feeling right now that we can clutter our lives with so many "friends" that we forget to feed those friendships. Further, we have too many avenues to "abuse" the building of a friendship. While email, facebook, twitter whathaveyou can be cool ways to stay in touch (and lord knows they've ALL helped me in so many positive ways) they also allow us to assume a lot about a person while never really focusing on the connection that makes FRIENDSHIP possible. While you may know a lot about someone, if you aren't learning it FROM this person and interacting with them you may have, in fact, never known the person at all.

So, to this person who I have lost from my life, I am tremendously sad about this. But I have learned to have a renewed focus on feeding the friends I have in my life. Treat your friends as you would want to be treated. Want to know something? Ask. Upset about something? Tell. Caring about someone? Hug. Connect with the person - through thick and thin, and you will be stronger for it in the long run.

2 comments:

Geoff Gentry (aka xforce11) said...

Good post and very thought provoking. Thanks for sharing!

Devyl Gyrl said...

I treat all of my friends the same. I am as straightforward as possible, and tell it like it is.

I am sorry you were hurt! **hugs**