26.8.08

Day 10. The Lost one.

So when I was in middle school and high school, I had a friend named Trevor. He was fabulous. He was the stereotypical good looking, lacrosse playing, well off guy. But he had a heart of gold.He was just...Cool. We were friends all through high school (in fact my high school boyfriend was his best friend, that's not why we dated, but I digress). There are so many special little memories that I have of Trevor - we met in the hall before our math classes every day my junior year. We had nicknames (it was the same word for each of us - "homeslice" - dont ask!). We double-dated to homecoming my senior year. We camped out for Dead tickets together when they used to come play Buckeye Lake. We all went to college, Trevor also became an EMT (saint!) and stayed in touch and involved. When you talked to Trevor - each interaction was a gift, he was smart, funny, kind. It wasn't the kind of relationship that you had to actively feed to keep it alive. He was wonderful.

Unfortunately, memories are all I have of Trevor. My sophomore year of college, I felt like I should try and get in touch with him over Christmas break. Things popped up, and we never talked. He called me once and left a message. Two days into 2nd semester, my roommate came to get me out of class to tell me Trevor had taken his own life. In my ex-boyfriends car. In the parking lot of the shopping center where we all used to hang out. 

Apparently there were notes left. Someone got one early in the mail and a wild goose chase ensued, but they didn't find him in time. He did it on a night he knew HIS EMT crew would find him. 

All that doesn't matter. He's gone. And I miss him. Some of our friends formed a band and now have a song about him. It makes me cry. Trevor was wonderful, and I'll never ever understand what happened. I don't think anyone does. Were the hardships of life too much for his beautiful spirit? Did reality seem too unfair to bear? 

Trevor was wonderful - I don't ever want him to go unrecognized for how beautiful he was. Please - know that Trevor will never be thought of as anything less that an angel on earth for the short time we had him.

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